Dustin Hoffman Held at Gunpoint During Affair, Reveals in New Memoir 'Look at Me' Out Today
Dustin Hoffman has revealed he once thought he was going to die after being caught in bed with a married woman — by her husband, holding a gun. The 89-year-old Oscar winner told the story on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Monday, November 9, the day before his new memoir, Look at Me, is released on Tuesday, November 10, 2026.
A memoir and vintage film reels. Hoffman's 320-page book 'Look at Me' is published today. (Illustrative image)
What did Dustin Hoffman say about the gunpoint incident?
Short answer: On the November 9 episode of SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Hoffman asked O'Brien whether he had ever had a gun pointed at him. When O'Brien said no, Hoffman recalled a night from his youth when he was having an affair with a married woman. She believed that once her husband went to sleep, he stayed asleep — so she invited Hoffman over after her husband went to bed. The husband woke up, walked into the room with a gun, pointed it at Hoffman and ordered him to get out of the house. "When you have a gun pointed at you — first of all, that hole is much bigger than the actual hole — you realize how, any second, he's gonna pull that trigger," Hoffman said. "His finger is on the trigger and you think, any second. You realize, that's it. I'm gonna die. You will do anything to avoid getting killed."
Hoffman did not identify the woman or her husband, and did not say exactly when the incident happened or how old he was — only that it was well before he became a notable Hollywood actor, and that he did not say whether it happened before or during his first marriage. The story is Hoffman's own recollection; no testimony from the others involved or independent records have been made public. He heeded the warning and left — and, as Parade put it, likely never saw the woman again.
'Look at Me': what is in Dustin Hoffman's memoir?
Look at Me, published by Simon & Schuster (Scribner), is a 320-page memoir written by Hoffman with New Yorker writer Ariel Levy. It is released on Tuesday, November 10, 2026 — with the German-language edition following on November 11 — and it chronicles six decades in Hollywood, from his lower-middle-class Jewish upbringing in Los Angeles in the 1940s to his rise as one of the defining actors of his generation. Hoffman describes himself in the book as a trickster and a comedian who will do anything to make people laugh.
The memoir has already earned a starred review from Kirkus, a place on The New York Times' list of November must-reads, and a spot in NPR's All Things Considered fall books roundup.
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A 1960s studio soundstage. Hoffman writes in the memoir about his gruelling experience filming 'The Graduate.' (Illustrative image)
The Graduate: 27 takes, a slap, and a punctured eardrum
Among the book's most striking passages is Hoffman's account of filming The Graduate (1967), the film that made him a star nearly 60 years ago. In an essay adapted from the memoir, Hoffman recalls feeling humiliated, physically exhausted and convinced that director Mike Nichols had made a terrible mistake casting him as Benjamin Braddock. Nichols, who died in 2014, was often difficult on set and particularly harsh toward him, Hoffman writes.
The tension peaked during the confrontation scene in which Elaine Robinson, played by Katharine Ross, slaps Benjamin after discovering his affair with her mother. According to Hoffman, Nichols demanded 27 takes, repeatedly instructing Ross to strike him harder despite her concerns about hurting her co-star. The next day, filming an underwater sequence in which Benjamin tests a scuba suit in his family's swimming pool, Hoffman suffered a punctured eardrum — an injury he believes resulted from the combination of repeated blows and underwater pressure.
Hoffman addresses #MeToo in the memoir
The book also confronts the 2017 allegations that changed Hoffman's life. In Look at Me, Hoffman writes that he supported #MeToo as a "very good thing" but was in "shock" when sexual harassment allegations were made against him by eight women, alleging multiple instances of misconduct ranging from indecent exposure and lewd comments to forced oral sex. Hoffman writes that his "entire life changed" when the allegations came out, and that he has continued to reckon with his past actions on set and whether things he did could have been perceived as uncomfortable by women he worked with. He issued a statement of his own when the news first broke in 2017.
It is a candid framing for a memoir from an actor with two Academy Awards — Best Actor for Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) and Rain Man (1988) — and a career spanning Midnight Cowboy, Tootsie, Hook and Meet the Fockers. Hoffman, who turns 90 next year, has been married to his current wife, entrepreneur and designer Lisa Hoffman, since 1980. They have six children together. His first marriage, to Anne Byrne, lasted from 1969 to 1980.
For more on the week's entertainment headlines, read our report on Russell Brand's sentencing to 10 years and 6 months in prison, and the Bond casting race led by Robert Pattinson and Nicholas Hoult.
Frequently Asked Questions
When is Dustin Hoffman's memoir 'Look at Me' released?
Tuesday, November 10, 2026, published by Simon & Schuster (Scribner). The German-language edition follows on November 11. The 320-page book was written with New Yorker writer Ariel Levy.
What did Dustin Hoffman reveal on Conan O'Brien's podcast?
On the November 9 episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Hoffman said that as a young man he was having an affair with a married woman when her husband woke up, walked in with a gun, pointed it at him and told him to get out. Hoffman said he thought he was going to die.
Did Dustin Hoffman say who the woman was?
No. He did not identify the woman or her husband, and did not say exactly when the incident happened or how old he was. The account is his own recollection, with no independent records made public.
What else is in 'Look at Me'?
The memoir covers six decades in Hollywood, including his gruelling experience filming The Graduate — 27 takes of a slap scene and a punctured eardrum — and his reckoning with the 2017 #MeToo allegations made against him, which he says changed his life.
How old is Dustin Hoffman?
89. He turns 90 next year. He has been married to his wife Lisa Hoffman since 1980, and they have six children.
How many Oscars has Dustin Hoffman won?
Two Best Actor Oscars: for Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) and Rain Man (1988). He was also nominated for The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy, Lenny, Tootsie and Wag the Dog.
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